FFB: Sexuality and harassment

Jeans: J Crew
Tee: Target
Scarf: Target
Belt: thrifted
Jacket: Land's End Canvas (gift from my mom)
Shoes: Steve Madden (ditto)
Bag: thrifted
Earrings: Turkey

So, first off, a million thanks for all the amazing comments on the last post. I've been humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude with the responses I've gotten from people I know in real life and people I've only ever met online. To be honest, I thought this would finally be the post when I got negative comments, but they never came. Everyone has been amazing, and for that, I thank you. I truly have amazing readers and friends.


Second, it's time for another FFB post. I totally forgot to post last month, though I've still the idea for a post kicking around in my head, so I didn't want to forget this time around. This month's topic is sexuality, you know, just to keep things light around here because that's how I roll.


I've been thinking a lot about modesty and harassment these days, partly because I read this article, partly because I work with teenagers, and partly because of the culture in which I live. To be really honest, I can't use the word "modest" to describe my own style. Not that I don't think I dress modestly, because I do and people tell me this a lot. That's fine. What's not fine is the association I have when it comes to that word. When I was about sixteen or so, this guy at our church basically told me that the way I dressed was "causing boys to stumble" which, as a feisty and articulate teenager, pretty much pissed me off, and I let him know that. I mean, my parents were still buying my clothes (and vetoing a lot of my sartorial choices) and they didn't have a problem with it. Besides, were the guys then not at all responsible for the way they reacted? Oh, and by the way, what was I supposed to do when I was wearing men's jeans and girl's tee shirts and STILL getting inappropriate comments from the boys at school? Because as far as I could tell, causing someone to stumble was not an exclusively female trait.


And I know, I should probably not be holding on to instances like this one (because, yes, there were instances. Plural.) and letting them color the way I view the word "modesty", because it's a perfectly innocuous word. It's fine. It's even good in some ways. It's just that in my brain, it's so inextricably linked to these types of experiences and power differentials that I just can't. And to say that it's this kind of thing that will suddenly throw up walls of protection around every woman in the world is just wrong. Because that doesn't work, and I know this. I live in a culture where men are expected to show their manliness by making comments about the women in their presence, especially the women they don't know. I can't walk to work without getting a look (you know the kind), a comment, a whistle, or a honk. I just give my best side eye and carry on. But you know what? It's infuriating and dehumanizing sometimes, and I hate it. And I'm covered up!


I'm almost thirty. I've found ways to fight it, both publicly and privately, but when I think of my students? It just breaks my heart because we keep telling them that if they'd just cover up a little bit more, they'd avoid it. But it doesn't work like that. I cover up because I'm more comfortable that way, because I get cold easily, because it's more practical for my job, but not because it's going to magically keep people from making all kinds of unsolicited comments and / or assumptions about me and my body. I've lived through too much to think it works that way.

BBCA 5 - Friend Friday: Fall

Cardigan: J Crew
Shirt: Target
Cami: Target
Pants: Lauren Conrad via Kohl's
Scarf: vintage, thrifted
Shoes: Steve Madden
Earrings: Turkey

So this week for the visual Friend Friday, we're linking up our quintessential fall looks over at 260 Days, No Repeats. Of course, it's also the last day of my BBCA week, so my fall look also has a touch of pink.


I have to say that at this point, I consider myself an expert in fall looks. I've mentioned before that I live in the land of eternal fall, so I've built a lot of outfits around boots, cardigans, and scarves. To me, fall is about classic silhouettes, mixed neutrals, and piled layers.


I really like the simple white button up, navy chinos, and cognac flats, but I like them better with the purple cami, chartreuse cardigan, and patterned scarf. I love the pops of color peeking out, especially when all those pops serve to keep me warm.


Feel free to ignore my award winning under eye circles, mmkay? Let's talk about this scarf. How pretty are those pink and green and turquoise swirls? So pretty. Also, it keeps my ears warm and hides my crazy hair - both are bonuses in my world.

Boho

Tunic: Banana Republic
Jeans: Costa Blanca (thrifted)
Cami: Target
Wedges: Toms
Earrings: Turkey
Scarf: gift from my mom

In case you couldn't tell, I built this look around my new-to-me jeans. I mean, I've seen similar pairs online for way more than I ever want to spend on jeans, and I scored these for $4 at a thrift store.


I generally think this silhouette is (a) a bit too reminiscent of mid-nineties Frances Joy and (b) a little too much for my height, but I wanted to try the trend and these jeans make my butt look good. That's important.


I decided I wanted to wear these jeans with a flowy top and some heels. I chose this tunic because I haven't worn it in a while and it went well with my Tom's. The Tom's are important because I had to walk to work and they are ridiculously comfortable.


More comfortable than my jeans. Sigh. Stupid jeans. You do NOT beat skirts in my world of comfort.


Headscarves, however, are always a win.

P.S. This scarf is all kinds of tacky. It's got pictures of Venetian landmarks on it. I can't figure out of my mom actually bought it while we were there (doubtful) or if someone gave it to her. Either way, I love it.

Classics

Shirt: Target
Jeans: 7 for all Mankind (thrifted)
Booties: Aldo
Earrings: Turkey

This is an outfit I've been dreaming of wearing for the longest. Is it earth shatteringly creative? Nope. Is it new and exciting? Also no. Is it classic? Yes.


For some reason, it's the classics that give me a hard time. Good jeans are hard to find for me - somewhere between my waist and my booty, and my thighs, it all makes me crazy and I give up. But these worked out. Are they my most comfortable jeans? No; they're a little too low rise for that. But they do work.


And then we've got the white button-up. Y'all know these are not made for women larger than a B cup, right? But B and I wandered into Target while we were in the States and I found this shirt on the clearance rack. The second button buttoned, so it was a go. It's still a bit loose elsewhere, especially tied this way, but I think that's fixable.


So, while this might be as classic as they come, it wasn't the most effortless look. Am I the only one who has the hardest time ever finding jeans and button ups? Someone let me know I'm not alone....

The case of the mysterious sliding belt

Dress: Kohl's
Belt: Target
Booties: Aldo
Cami: Petite Sophisticate
Earrings: Sarchí, Costa Rica

So, I've had this dress for a long time. Like, six or seven years kind of long time. I like to call it my travel dress because it dresses up and down easily and it's jersey. Jersey! That's a "roll it up and throw it in your backpack" kind of fabric if ever there was one.


It's been with me to Vietnam, to Turkey, to Guatemala. It's also what I wore when we flew down here to Costa Rica. It was appropriate for the early January cold of DC and the warmth of Costa Rica. All I did was swap a pair of boots for a pair of flip flops when we landed. Easy peasy.


But I haven't worn it again since we've been here until this past Sunday when I pulled it out and put it on. The nice thing about a wrap dress is that it fits through 10-15 pound weight fluctuations, and I'd say I'm at the lower end of my normal fluctuations at this point. The bad thing about being at this point is that I need a little more definition in my outfits because I'm losing my curves.


Well, I know how to add definition! Just belt it! So I add this very adjustable belt at the waist. The problem? Between the slippery fabric, the bunching of the self-belt, and the slipperiness of the belt itself, it was sliding down as the day went on and that is just annoying.

Wanna Be Style Blogger - My mamita

Cardigan: Target
Top: Banana Republic via Marcas
Jeans: Ann Taylor
Sandals: Chaps via Kohl's
Jewelry: I'm going to guess Kohl's

This is my mamita. This woman is so many levels of stylish and put together that I can't even stand it. As I've said before, she's the reason I have any kind of fashion sense.


My mom is all about classic pieces and funky jewelry. I mean, seriously, she loves her chunky bracelets, necklaces, and rings. I think she's also caught my love of dangly earrings.


I love the way she finds classic pieces (a black wrap top) with pretty details (eyelet) to keep things from being too boring.


How pretty is my mom, y'all? Also - good genes. If I've inherited her genes, I should look young for the rest of my life.


¡Te quiero mucho, mamita linda!

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The Money Pit & Color Rotation - Pink

I'm participating in the Color Rotation started by Colleen over at Scrap and Run. Of course, given our current Internet woes, I'm super late in starting. Anyway, I'm starting with pink.


Shirt: Gap
Jeans: Old Navy
Belt: Target
Shoes: Target
Scarf: Vintage, thrifted
Earrings: Turkey

I don't own a whole lot of pink, clearly, since this outfit has just tiny touches of pink in it. My students told me I looked like "una vaquera elegante" - an elegant cowgirl. And I kind of like that.


Can we talk about these jeans? I don't know why I brought them here, but I did. They've belonged to all the women in my family at some point: my sister, my mom, me. They're at least five years old, possibly older, but they do have the right rise for tucking in. Also, can I just gripe that I'm not even 5'3" and these jeans are just a touch too short. What is that about?!


And I love this vintage scarf. Love it. I can't find enough ways to wear it because it's slippery and small and square, but I do try to work it in whenever I can.


Also, that's our new house. I've taken to calling it "the money pit", at least, that's what I call it in my head. We're living here rent free (in exchange for fixing it up), and using it for a "teacher/intern house". Right now, there are three of us living there; this summer there will be six. It's a family's vacation home, but they haven't used it in the two years since the earthquake.


It's a beautiful place, with a volcano view and cows next door, but I won't lie: earthquake damage is a sneaky little thing. There are the obvious fixes: broken windows, cracked walls, cracked floors. Then there are the sneaky things: a leaking toilet, the tub that no longer drains because everything shifted, electrical issues, the sink that didn't work, the fact that the bathroom smells a bit like a sewage treatment facility....


Even so, things are coming along and it feels so good - SO GOOD! - to finally unpack completely. Y'all should visit. Bring a volunteer plumber and I'll feed you for free.