FFB: Sexuality and harassment

Jeans: J Crew
Tee: Target
Scarf: Target
Belt: thrifted
Jacket: Land's End Canvas (gift from my mom)
Shoes: Steve Madden (ditto)
Bag: thrifted
Earrings: Turkey

So, first off, a million thanks for all the amazing comments on the last post. I've been humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude with the responses I've gotten from people I know in real life and people I've only ever met online. To be honest, I thought this would finally be the post when I got negative comments, but they never came. Everyone has been amazing, and for that, I thank you. I truly have amazing readers and friends.


Second, it's time for another FFB post. I totally forgot to post last month, though I've still the idea for a post kicking around in my head, so I didn't want to forget this time around. This month's topic is sexuality, you know, just to keep things light around here because that's how I roll.


I've been thinking a lot about modesty and harassment these days, partly because I read this article, partly because I work with teenagers, and partly because of the culture in which I live. To be really honest, I can't use the word "modest" to describe my own style. Not that I don't think I dress modestly, because I do and people tell me this a lot. That's fine. What's not fine is the association I have when it comes to that word. When I was about sixteen or so, this guy at our church basically told me that the way I dressed was "causing boys to stumble" which, as a feisty and articulate teenager, pretty much pissed me off, and I let him know that. I mean, my parents were still buying my clothes (and vetoing a lot of my sartorial choices) and they didn't have a problem with it. Besides, were the guys then not at all responsible for the way they reacted? Oh, and by the way, what was I supposed to do when I was wearing men's jeans and girl's tee shirts and STILL getting inappropriate comments from the boys at school? Because as far as I could tell, causing someone to stumble was not an exclusively female trait.


And I know, I should probably not be holding on to instances like this one (because, yes, there were instances. Plural.) and letting them color the way I view the word "modesty", because it's a perfectly innocuous word. It's fine. It's even good in some ways. It's just that in my brain, it's so inextricably linked to these types of experiences and power differentials that I just can't. And to say that it's this kind of thing that will suddenly throw up walls of protection around every woman in the world is just wrong. Because that doesn't work, and I know this. I live in a culture where men are expected to show their manliness by making comments about the women in their presence, especially the women they don't know. I can't walk to work without getting a look (you know the kind), a comment, a whistle, or a honk. I just give my best side eye and carry on. But you know what? It's infuriating and dehumanizing sometimes, and I hate it. And I'm covered up!


I'm almost thirty. I've found ways to fight it, both publicly and privately, but when I think of my students? It just breaks my heart because we keep telling them that if they'd just cover up a little bit more, they'd avoid it. But it doesn't work like that. I cover up because I'm more comfortable that way, because I get cold easily, because it's more practical for my job, but not because it's going to magically keep people from making all kinds of unsolicited comments and / or assumptions about me and my body. I've lived through too much to think it works that way.

BBCA 5 - Friend Friday: Fall

Cardigan: J Crew
Shirt: Target
Cami: Target
Pants: Lauren Conrad via Kohl's
Scarf: vintage, thrifted
Shoes: Steve Madden
Earrings: Turkey

So this week for the visual Friend Friday, we're linking up our quintessential fall looks over at 260 Days, No Repeats. Of course, it's also the last day of my BBCA week, so my fall look also has a touch of pink.


I have to say that at this point, I consider myself an expert in fall looks. I've mentioned before that I live in the land of eternal fall, so I've built a lot of outfits around boots, cardigans, and scarves. To me, fall is about classic silhouettes, mixed neutrals, and piled layers.


I really like the simple white button up, navy chinos, and cognac flats, but I like them better with the purple cami, chartreuse cardigan, and patterned scarf. I love the pops of color peeking out, especially when all those pops serve to keep me warm.


Feel free to ignore my award winning under eye circles, mmkay? Let's talk about this scarf. How pretty are those pink and green and turquoise swirls? So pretty. Also, it keeps my ears warm and hides my crazy hair - both are bonuses in my world.

BBCA 3 - Scarf it

Tee: Target
Skirt: Gap
Cardigan: Ann Taylor
Belt: came with a blazer
Tights: Target
Boots: Noble Town Vintage
Earrings: Turkey
Scarf: the chopped off hem of a thrifted and refashioned skirt

So, let me tell you the story of this outfit. I was looking for something to wear to church and I was going crazy because the mold! Oh my gosh! Why do things get moldy as soon as they enter this region! Mold, mold, mold. If you've never lived in the cloud rainforest in a house with no heating of any kind, let me tell you: stuff gets moldy pretty much instantly.


Every week or two, I go through the closet and pull out all the stuff that smells moldy or actually has mold growing on it, because, yes, that's possible. Sunday, thanks to the amount of rain we've had lately, I filled our hamper with stuff that smelled suspect. It made me want to cry (I think I wailed to B about "Oh my gosh, the MOLD!") and it also distracted me from the outfit that I actually wanted to wear.


Somehow, in the last few minutes before church, this came together. And guess what? It worked! I loved it. It felt fresh and fun. I know I turned some heads as I was walking home past the soccer field because of the tights. Of course, the floral head scarf was a close second when it came to attention getting.

BBCA 1 - Family

Cardigan: Target? gift from my mom
Tee: Ann Taylor
Pants: New York & Co.
Scarf: gift from my mom
Brooch: vintage
Earrings: Target
Shoes: Steve Madden

Well, hello, y'all. Can I start by saying that sometimes a week off is just the right thing? It's been a rough couple weeks. Let me go ahead and confess that it's been a rough nine or so months since we moved. Things haven't been easy and the blog felt like one more thing on my to do list, which wasn't cool, so, a break.


But! I am participating in BBCA, started by Melissa over at A Working Mom's Closet (breaks are apparently going around these days...). I don't own a lot of pink; I don't really like it, but I did want to participate so I've been digging out my pink.


I love this outfit and I honestly built it around this brooch, with its pops of pink. When B and I were back in the States, his grandmother pulled out her jewelry box and let me and B's sister M take whatever we wanted. I fell in love with this brooch, and I love the sense of connection I have with B's family - now my family, too - when I wear it.


And, yeah, I think I've just come to a point where I feel like they're my family, too. Apparently it takes me visiting them four times to get to that point; that's the problem when the family lives all over the place.

Lazy

Turtleneck: Express
Skirt: Gap
Shoes: Steve Madden
Belt: thrifted
Earrings: Target

Sometimes I just don't feel like getting dressed. On those days, I tend to reach for black because it's easy and I love it. Then I add a little brown so it looks like I tried.


Done and done. Easiest thing ever, am I right?


What do you do when you don't want to think about getting dressed? Any other go to combos out there?

Friend Friday: Refashioning

Tee: Hanes
Skirt: Target
Shoes: Steve Madden
Belt: Target
Earrings: Turkey

Today's visual Friend Friday is about refashioning, which is something I have only recently started doing. Well, I guess that's not entirely true because I've cut the necks out of a bunch of crew neck shirts for years.


Lately, though, I've been dabbling in hemming and I've got big plans to dye some stuff (I even have dye and rubber gloves on hand). Oh, and I took in this men's shirt so that it didn't fit me like a giant bag.


See? I got my instructions here and although I haven't quite gotten the technique, I think I can try it again.


As it is, I can still wear the shirt and not just as pajamas. Besides, any no sew trick is good in my book.


Oh, and speaking of DIY... I cut my hair. Just me, a pair of scissors and the bathroom mirror. It was scary as all get out, but I'm pleasantly surprised. Besides, it was so long, I was going CRAZY.

Safari

Tee: Banana Republic
Skirt: Ann Taylor
Belt: Banana Republic
Shoes: Crocs
Earrings: Kohl's

I almost like this outfit. I think I like the idea of it better than the execution. I needed something that would be appropriate for work - and the walk to and from - on a relatively warm day and this fit the bill.


I've had this tee shirt for, roughly, forever; by forever I mean since 2006. It's a little too long and quite sheer, but it stays in my closet because it (a) layers nicely and (b) has a zebra on it. The zebra is important.


I kinda like the zebra tee with the elephant earrings and leopard belt. See? It's like a theme! I'm going to tell myself it's subtle, okay? I like my delusions.

Green

Sweater: Target
Dress: Target (gift from my mom)
Belt: Target
Shoes: Steve Madden (gift from my mom)
Earrings: Turkey

Seriously? How did I end up wearing so much Target? I don't even know. But I guess that's okay because B picked this outfit out and if he'd wanted more variety in clothing sources, he'd have made it happen, right?


He loves this sweater, and I love it in theory. What I mean is that I love it when it's on, but it's not the thing that I reach for when I'm getting dressed. I don't know why because the silhouette is perfect and the color is so much fun. I should be reaching for it more often, am I right?


I'm glad B helps me to get some use out of this particular item, though. Any outfit suggestions for this sweater?


Also, I asked my mom for some flat shoes so I can keep walking to school when our car breaks down (it's at least once a month, y'all) and she sent me these and the oxfords I've already shown off. Cute, right? I'm pretty smitten.

Friend Friday: So(ng) inspired

Tee: Gap
Shirt: Ralph Lauren (thrifted)
Skirt: thrifted and hemmed
Shoes: Steve Madden (gift from my mom)
Earrings: Turkey
Sunnies: Target

For this week's Friend Friday, we're wearing song inspired clothes. So it kind of looks like I was inspired by the Saved by the Bell theme song, but let me assure you that it wasn't. I mean, maybe I'm channeling Lisa Turtle, but that was not my intention.


Mostly, I woke up with two songs running through my head. The first was Cultura Profética's "Amante luz" and the second was Draco's "Obra de arte". I'm actually kind of impressed that the songs go together (yeah, amazing Puerto Rican artists!) because usually my iTunes mixes sound a little...ADD. But this morning I kept singing two lines to myself, one from each song: "Borinquen, amante luz, rayo de sol" (Puerto Rico, lover of light, ray of sun), and "De los cuarenta colores que yo sé pintar, eres ese color que no lo puedo ni soñar" (Of the forty colors I can paint, you're that color that I can't even imagine).


So I knew two things: I wanted to wear yellow and I wanted to wear something like forty colors. I wanted to look like I was wearing Puerto Rico. Or something. My recently hemmed thrift store skirt fit the bill. Pairing it with yellow stripes seemed natural. But then I was cold, so I reached for this shirt, tied it up, and called it a day.


I think my sunshiny, tropical inspiration served me well because it's nearly two and the clouds seem to be holding off. Amante luz, rayo de sol, indeed.


In other news, I've finally succumbed to wearing oxfords and I'm kind of in love.


AND I tied knots in my hair. Fanciness all around y'all.

Great hair day

Sweater: Banana Republic
Tank: Target
Jeans: J Crew
Shoes: Sperry
Bracelet: gift from friend
Headband: Forever 21
Earrings: Target

This outfit is neither interesting nor original, but my hair and I were having a great day, so I thought I'd post them anyway.


See?! Look at this hair! I woke up with it, put on a headband and told facebook my hair was amazing. Because the internet needed to know. It was that amazing.


So, boring outfit. I mean, I love it, but it's not spectacular. I probably wear it once every couple weeks, especially on the days that I have to walk to work. Again.

Heidi

Cardigan: Target
Tee: Gap
Skirt: swapped
Belt: thrifted
Shoes: Crocs
Earrings: Kohl's

I built this whole outfit around my Heidi braids. If you follow me on pinterest, you'll know that my Hair inspiration board is dominated by braids and buns, and it's just a matter of time before I try all these looks out.


Anyway, for these braids, I figured I might as well go ahead and go as all-out Heidi as I could. Enter full skirt and snug tee. And because it gets chilly quickly up here, I threw on a cardigan. Oh, and flat shoes because the car was still in the mechanic; I mean, it's still there, but it was there when I wore this outfit last week, too.


I'm pretty certain we've paid more in repairs over the course of this year than we (ADE) paid for the car in the first place. I try not to think too hard about that because that's just depressing.


So, how about I show you my pretty hair instead?


Pretty, right?


So much better than thinking about our money sucking car....