FFB: Sexuality and harassment

Jeans: J Crew
Tee: Target
Scarf: Target
Belt: thrifted
Jacket: Land's End Canvas (gift from my mom)
Shoes: Steve Madden (ditto)
Bag: thrifted
Earrings: Turkey

So, first off, a million thanks for all the amazing comments on the last post. I've been humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude with the responses I've gotten from people I know in real life and people I've only ever met online. To be honest, I thought this would finally be the post when I got negative comments, but they never came. Everyone has been amazing, and for that, I thank you. I truly have amazing readers and friends.


Second, it's time for another FFB post. I totally forgot to post last month, though I've still the idea for a post kicking around in my head, so I didn't want to forget this time around. This month's topic is sexuality, you know, just to keep things light around here because that's how I roll.


I've been thinking a lot about modesty and harassment these days, partly because I read this article, partly because I work with teenagers, and partly because of the culture in which I live. To be really honest, I can't use the word "modest" to describe my own style. Not that I don't think I dress modestly, because I do and people tell me this a lot. That's fine. What's not fine is the association I have when it comes to that word. When I was about sixteen or so, this guy at our church basically told me that the way I dressed was "causing boys to stumble" which, as a feisty and articulate teenager, pretty much pissed me off, and I let him know that. I mean, my parents were still buying my clothes (and vetoing a lot of my sartorial choices) and they didn't have a problem with it. Besides, were the guys then not at all responsible for the way they reacted? Oh, and by the way, what was I supposed to do when I was wearing men's jeans and girl's tee shirts and STILL getting inappropriate comments from the boys at school? Because as far as I could tell, causing someone to stumble was not an exclusively female trait.


And I know, I should probably not be holding on to instances like this one (because, yes, there were instances. Plural.) and letting them color the way I view the word "modesty", because it's a perfectly innocuous word. It's fine. It's even good in some ways. It's just that in my brain, it's so inextricably linked to these types of experiences and power differentials that I just can't. And to say that it's this kind of thing that will suddenly throw up walls of protection around every woman in the world is just wrong. Because that doesn't work, and I know this. I live in a culture where men are expected to show their manliness by making comments about the women in their presence, especially the women they don't know. I can't walk to work without getting a look (you know the kind), a comment, a whistle, or a honk. I just give my best side eye and carry on. But you know what? It's infuriating and dehumanizing sometimes, and I hate it. And I'm covered up!


I'm almost thirty. I've found ways to fight it, both publicly and privately, but when I think of my students? It just breaks my heart because we keep telling them that if they'd just cover up a little bit more, they'd avoid it. But it doesn't work like that. I cover up because I'm more comfortable that way, because I get cold easily, because it's more practical for my job, but not because it's going to magically keep people from making all kinds of unsolicited comments and / or assumptions about me and my body. I've lived through too much to think it works that way.

Dreams

Jacket: Land's End Canvas (gift from my mom)
Tee: American Eagle (gift from my aunt)
Jeans: 7 for all Mankind - thrifted
Sandals: Simply Vera via Kohl's (gift from my mom)
Scarf: Target
Earrings: Target

So I totally built this look around this hair tutorial and my newly thrifted 7 for all Mankind jeans. It's a pretty simple look, but I kind of love it. Mostly because I found these jeans at the Americana for less than $4.


Let me repeat that: I got these jeans for less than $4. I did a little happy dance in the dressing room and told B that one of my dreams had come true: To find designer jeans in my size for some ridiculous price at the thrift store. I dream big, y'all.


I wore this outfit with the jacket for most of the day because it was so cold and rainy after eight in the morning. The sun was all, "I quit", and I shivered and cursed my bare toes and wished that our car would miraculously get fixed and come back to me because I miss him so.


Melodramatic? Perhaps. I just miss my shoes is all. My booties and I are longing to be reunited and that won't happen until we get the car back because that hill? Y'all, that hill is no. Joke.


On the plus side, I love this hair.

White shirt week day 1

Blazer: Apt 9 via Kohl's
Tee: Target (gift from intern A)
Jeans: Elle via Kohl's
Sandals: Chaps (gift from my mom)
Earrings: Target
Scarf: gift from my mom via Etsy (don't know which vendor)

Last Monday, our intern A gave me this white top which was pretty much the white tee I've been searching for. I decided to wear it all week, and I did, though I only got pics of four outfits. (That was not a totally original idea. I read it somewhere on the internet months ago and I've been thinking about doing it since. If you know where I read it, let me know...) This might be one of my favorite looks of the week, though, for real.


It was comfortable and warm and oh-so-cozy, which was perfect for a day of meetings in a very cold building. Also, these jeans fit after a week of gorging myself on the cruise. Seriously, I ate like a crazy person.


I enjoyed every minute of it, too. We were long overdue for a get away and it was so nice to be able to spend time with my family - especially my sweet, sweet niece. I love that kid beyond words, I tell you. Also nice? Getting tan. (Bad Frances. Though, in my defense, I slathered on the SPF 30 AND reapplied. It's just that the Caribbean sun missed me.)

FFB: Women in Media

Tee: J Crew
Blazer: New York & Co.
Skirt: Gap
Belt: Ann Taylor
Scarf: Target
Flats: Naturalizer
Earrings: Target?

This entire look was based on a picture of this hair.

source

That is a true story. I pinned that image I don't even know how long ago and now that my hair is so terribly grown out that I can't wear it down, I've been trying to find a look other than my traditional high bun.


But, enough about my crazy hair. I've been slacking on my Feminist Fashion Bloggers posts for the past few months, but I've been thinking a lot about this month's topic: Women in the Media and Popular Culture.


I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and, of course, I'm thinking of this from the perspective of a Latina who grew up primarily in the States. So, there's my bias. I've been thinking a lot about the representation of women of color in the media quite often these days and thinking about how that plays into my own sense of identity and self expression. Too heavy for a style blog? Perhaps, but let's take it there today, shall we?


I've been thinking about this as I (finally) got caught up on Glee. I think Glee has one of the more diverse casts on television, but one of the issues I have with the show is its reliance on stereotypes for so many of the characters (Mercedes, for example). I think they try. I think there are some characters that are actually complex. As a Latina, I have to mention Santana. While that's one of those names that non-Latinos think are legitimately Latino and I am kind of weird about having believable names, I do like that they've developed her character a bit. The thing that bugs me, though? She's so spicy, that Santana, with all that attitude.


Because, you know, that's what we Latinas are: spicy. And all of us "ethnic" girls are angry, or at least attitude-y. (Either that or subservient women oppressed by machismo - but that's a different post. Also another post: the label "ethnic" for people who are not white.) I grew up seeing these images - not often, of course, because for the first twenty years of my life, I didn't see many Latinas on tv or in movies - and I've fought so hard against being the stereotype.


Because, really? When all you see is that woman with the attitude, who gets mad and spouts off in Spanish for everyone's amusement, it does get to you. Is that how you want to be represented all the time? I'm lucky that I had a family that held up other images, but what about kids that don't have that? You get a little angry that you're constantly portrayed as a one dimensional angry woman. Self fulfilling prophecy....


I often tell B that what I want to see is Latinos on tv just living. And I guess there are some shows like that (Ugly Betty), I just don't watch enough tv to really know. Ditto for the movies. Even more for books. When I write a book, I'm not explaining any of my Latinas. Does that make sense? They're just going to live and be. Maybe they'll be angry, maybe they'll be pushy, but they'll be a whole lot more besides. You know, like me and all the other Latinas I know.

Random numbers

Blazer: Apt. 9 via Kohl's
Tee: Ann Taylor
Skirt: Target
Booties: Aldo
Earrings: Target

So let me tell you about how this outfit came together. It went a little something like this:
Me: Hey, B, why don't you pick out my outfit for tomorrow?


B: Okay, choose the fourth item from the end....
Me: Which end? (Can you tell I'm really uninspired these days?)
B kindly pointed out the far end of the closet.


I pulled out the black blazer.
Me: Okay, I can't wear this by itself.
B: Wear it with the eleventh item from the end, not counting the one I just picked.
And the leopard print skirt was the eleventh item.


B: You should wear that with a white shirt.

And a new way of picking out my clothes is born.

Back on Track aka Outfit #8

Tank: Target
Jacket: New York & Co.
Skirt: Target
Shoes: Steve Madden
Earrings: gift from sister in law

Today, my (maternal) aunts took me to meet up with my (paternal) uncle and grandmother to visit my grandfather who's in a nursing home. Then we went out to eat with my uncle and grandmother because my family loves to eat.


How cute is my grandmother?! Too cute, that's how cute.


I got these shots of the town of Gurabo, where my grandfather is, and thought they were too amazing not to share. Check out the steps back leading up to the houses on the hill. I'd be so fit if I lived there....


I feel like the brightness of this outfit fits in so well with the surroundings. Life in general is just brighter in the tropics. The houses are bright, the flowers are bright, the sun is bright.... Color is less scary for me here.


This was our view from the restaurant today, and it's totally not photoshopped. How gorgeous is my island? I mean, for real.


My aunt almost stole these shoes from me. I might not be able to leave with them in my suitcase because she liked them so much.

And now, a random picture:

Mama hen and babies! Gah! So cute!

Fabulous Traveler aka Outfit #7

Blazer: New York & Co.
Tank: Target
Jeggings: J Crew
Shoes: Target
Scarf: Turkey
Earrings: Turkey
Ring: Swapped
Sunnies: from a pharmacy in Costa Rica

Today I'm traveling to Puerto Rico after having a meeting with the Minister of Public Education for our province. I needed to look professional while still being comfortable enough to go from the chilly highlands to the dry heat of the city to the wall of humidity that is the area just outside of the airport in San Juan. I think I've done it.



Anyway, it's the first day of Fabulous in February, and I'll be doing this every Monday for the rest of the month. Basically, I'm being positive about what and who I am, which, if you've ever read my about me, you'll see that that's one of the reasons I started the blog. So here are my three things for this week:


1. I'm a traveler. I like hanging out in a place for an extended period of time and getting to know the local culture. Travel is probably the best education I could've ever had.


2. I have a quirky little gap-toothed smile. Believe it or not, I once had braces. Kids: wear your retainers or fall in love with your gap. I've done the latter.


3. I'm a proud shorty. I'm 5' 2 and 3/4", which I round up to 5'3" so I don't sound like a little kid. In case you're wondering, B is 6'3". I always tell him that I'm the perfect height and he's freakishly tall.

What makes y'all fabulous?

Forgot aka Outfit #30

All remixed
Blazer: Apt. 9 via Kohl's
Tee: New York & Co.
Jeans: Elle via Kohl's
Shoes: Target
Earrings: India (gift)
Scarf: Vintage - gift from my mom

This outfit feels a bit like cheating because it looks so much like #24. Also, when I was taking pictures, I forgot that it was number 30. So, tomorrow, I'll be doing #31, and then I'll celebrate. Whoo hoo! It'll be great. You should stop by.


Kiku thinks so, too.


Things I do like about this look: pattern mixing. Subtle pinstripes, leopard, and a floral work pretty well together when they're all in the same color palette, no?


Oh, and my funky little shoes. I like those, too.

Black and blue aka Outfit #2

All remixed
Blazer: Apt. 9 via Kohl's
Shirt: New York & Co.
Cami: Target
Pants: New York & Co.
Flower belt: J Crew
Shoes: Steve Madden
Bracelet: won in a giveaway
Earrings: New York & Co.

I may have worn this before. I wasn't feeling creative as I was stumbling around at six fifteen this morning - it's been way too long since my days started at that ungodly hour. Also, I don't think camis should count in the 30x30 because I never wear them on their own. Is that cheating? I'm pretty sure it's not.


My second day of subbing went quite well - just two more days of subbing and I'll be back to my regularly scheduled volunteer work, part time work, and translations. The good thing is that there's no school tomorrow, the bad news is that I'll be at my other job all. Day. Long.


Also, I took the most AWKWARD pictures today! I don't know what's up with that. Maybe it's the pants. I always feel awkward in pants....



I was a little nervous about wearing the flower belt, too. I thought maybe it was too much, but then I told myself that it totally changed the outfit and as long as I was wearing pants, I might as well keep on pushing myself out of my comfort zone. What do y'all think? Too much?




For more remix fun, click here.