FFB: Sexuality and harassment

Jeans: J Crew
Tee: Target
Scarf: Target
Belt: thrifted
Jacket: Land's End Canvas (gift from my mom)
Shoes: Steve Madden (ditto)
Bag: thrifted
Earrings: Turkey

So, first off, a million thanks for all the amazing comments on the last post. I've been humbled and overwhelmed with gratitude with the responses I've gotten from people I know in real life and people I've only ever met online. To be honest, I thought this would finally be the post when I got negative comments, but they never came. Everyone has been amazing, and for that, I thank you. I truly have amazing readers and friends.


Second, it's time for another FFB post. I totally forgot to post last month, though I've still the idea for a post kicking around in my head, so I didn't want to forget this time around. This month's topic is sexuality, you know, just to keep things light around here because that's how I roll.


I've been thinking a lot about modesty and harassment these days, partly because I read this article, partly because I work with teenagers, and partly because of the culture in which I live. To be really honest, I can't use the word "modest" to describe my own style. Not that I don't think I dress modestly, because I do and people tell me this a lot. That's fine. What's not fine is the association I have when it comes to that word. When I was about sixteen or so, this guy at our church basically told me that the way I dressed was "causing boys to stumble" which, as a feisty and articulate teenager, pretty much pissed me off, and I let him know that. I mean, my parents were still buying my clothes (and vetoing a lot of my sartorial choices) and they didn't have a problem with it. Besides, were the guys then not at all responsible for the way they reacted? Oh, and by the way, what was I supposed to do when I was wearing men's jeans and girl's tee shirts and STILL getting inappropriate comments from the boys at school? Because as far as I could tell, causing someone to stumble was not an exclusively female trait.


And I know, I should probably not be holding on to instances like this one (because, yes, there were instances. Plural.) and letting them color the way I view the word "modesty", because it's a perfectly innocuous word. It's fine. It's even good in some ways. It's just that in my brain, it's so inextricably linked to these types of experiences and power differentials that I just can't. And to say that it's this kind of thing that will suddenly throw up walls of protection around every woman in the world is just wrong. Because that doesn't work, and I know this. I live in a culture where men are expected to show their manliness by making comments about the women in their presence, especially the women they don't know. I can't walk to work without getting a look (you know the kind), a comment, a whistle, or a honk. I just give my best side eye and carry on. But you know what? It's infuriating and dehumanizing sometimes, and I hate it. And I'm covered up!


I'm almost thirty. I've found ways to fight it, both publicly and privately, but when I think of my students? It just breaks my heart because we keep telling them that if they'd just cover up a little bit more, they'd avoid it. But it doesn't work like that. I cover up because I'm more comfortable that way, because I get cold easily, because it's more practical for my job, but not because it's going to magically keep people from making all kinds of unsolicited comments and / or assumptions about me and my body. I've lived through too much to think it works that way.

BBCA 3 - Scarf it

Tee: Target
Skirt: Gap
Cardigan: Ann Taylor
Belt: came with a blazer
Tights: Target
Boots: Noble Town Vintage
Earrings: Turkey
Scarf: the chopped off hem of a thrifted and refashioned skirt

So, let me tell you the story of this outfit. I was looking for something to wear to church and I was going crazy because the mold! Oh my gosh! Why do things get moldy as soon as they enter this region! Mold, mold, mold. If you've never lived in the cloud rainforest in a house with no heating of any kind, let me tell you: stuff gets moldy pretty much instantly.


Every week or two, I go through the closet and pull out all the stuff that smells moldy or actually has mold growing on it, because, yes, that's possible. Sunday, thanks to the amount of rain we've had lately, I filled our hamper with stuff that smelled suspect. It made me want to cry (I think I wailed to B about "Oh my gosh, the MOLD!") and it also distracted me from the outfit that I actually wanted to wear.


Somehow, in the last few minutes before church, this came together. And guess what? It worked! I loved it. It felt fresh and fun. I know I turned some heads as I was walking home past the soccer field because of the tights. Of course, the floral head scarf was a close second when it came to attention getting.

FFB: Ethics: new, old, self-made

Top: Zara
Skirt: self-made (with help, I mean, obviously.)
Booties: Aldo
Earrings: Target

Time for another FFB post. This month we're talking ethics, which is appropriate because, strangely enough, I've been thinking a lot about this topic in the past few weeks. And I've been thinking about it in terms of my clothing in particular.


B and I try to live simply. It's not that we're always good at it, but we try. We don't do flowers in our house except for the kinds that we plant because the flower industry makes me feel sick and icky. We don't do diamonds. We try to buy locally as much as possible and we make an effort to not buy stuff we don't need (I struggle more in this area than B). As someone with my particular educational and personal background who is currently working and living in rural Central America, it's hard to not be more aware of where things are made, especially clothes.


I've already talked about the americanas and I don't think I've really gotten through the ethics of those just yet. But let's talk new clothes for a minute, shall we? Like, maybe we should talk about my Zara shirt and the fact that Zara's been using child and slave labor to make its clothes in Brazil.


I'm not naive enough to think that they're the only retailer pulling such stunts. I don't do American Apparel, Forever 21, or Walmart because I don't agree with their business practices (similar to Zara's). I'm not the MOST educated on this, but I try to use what I know to help me make better shopping decisions.


I don't care so much if things are produced in the States, because I know that there's a need for jobs abroad, but I do care about a certain level of justice when it comes to working conditions. And I realize I can't always know what these conditions are like. I'm tempted to stick to the thrift stores, though those bring another set of questions (US American consumption, for one) but I think making clothes can be another way to fight the man. Maybe?


We'll see how my sewing class goes....

The case of the mysterious sliding belt

Dress: Kohl's
Belt: Target
Booties: Aldo
Cami: Petite Sophisticate
Earrings: Sarchí, Costa Rica

So, I've had this dress for a long time. Like, six or seven years kind of long time. I like to call it my travel dress because it dresses up and down easily and it's jersey. Jersey! That's a "roll it up and throw it in your backpack" kind of fabric if ever there was one.


It's been with me to Vietnam, to Turkey, to Guatemala. It's also what I wore when we flew down here to Costa Rica. It was appropriate for the early January cold of DC and the warmth of Costa Rica. All I did was swap a pair of boots for a pair of flip flops when we landed. Easy peasy.


But I haven't worn it again since we've been here until this past Sunday when I pulled it out and put it on. The nice thing about a wrap dress is that it fits through 10-15 pound weight fluctuations, and I'd say I'm at the lower end of my normal fluctuations at this point. The bad thing about being at this point is that I need a little more definition in my outfits because I'm losing my curves.


Well, I know how to add definition! Just belt it! So I add this very adjustable belt at the waist. The problem? Between the slippery fabric, the bunching of the self-belt, and the slipperiness of the belt itself, it was sliding down as the day went on and that is just annoying.

Gifts and questionable outfits

Tank: H&M - gift from my sister
Dress (worn as a skirt): Papaya - gift from my sister
Sunnies: Puerto Rico
Earrings: Target
Beach: Cahuita

I wore shoes this day, I just don't remember which ones and they're not in the pictures, so I figure it's okay to skip that little detail. This feels like so long ago, and that's because it was and I have a backlog of outfit pictures that I'm slowly going through. I'm fine with that. I'm taking it slowly because I'm enjoying the let up in the amount of work in my daily life.


I don't know if I love this outfit. I mean, it was appropriate for what we were doing (driving out to the East Coast to drop off our sweet intern, A, at her family's place in Limón) and it's comfortable... But somewhere between the blue on blue, the dress pulled down as a skirt, and the knotted top, I feel like it just wasn't working.


On the plus side, my sister gave me both the dress and the tank when I saw her in July. She tried to give me piles of stuff, but I have little use for anything summery up here in the land of the eternal fall (that's my affectionate name for this region of Costa Rica) so I selected these two pieces because I thought I could do a lot with them. And I will. Just maybe not together again.

Snug

Tee: Ann Taylor
Jeans: J Crew
Wedges: Nine West
Bangles: gift from my uncle and aunt
Earrings: Turkey
Sunnies: Puerto Rico

This is the kind of outfit I could only wear while coming off the high of Dress Your Best Week. I think I'll be celebrating my body in a slightly less intentional way this week because I'm feeling so confident and in love with the body I have. And it's weird to think that and type that because I'm not the kind of woman who likes to draw attention to herself (even though I share a lot of stuff with the Internet).


But yeah, I put this on expecting it NOT to work, but it did, and even though I was a little afraid of all the body-hugging pieces, I went with it. And then to top it off, I let my hair do the 1960s-meets-1980s thing it was doing all by itself. Because if I'm going for it, I'm going all out. Go big or go home, baby. That's how we roll in our house.


And these shoes? I love them. They're so old, y'all. I've had them for five or six years - maybe even longer. They remind me of some shoes that my mom wore in her engagement pictures with jeans a lot like these. Honestly, I kind of felt like I was channeling my mom circa 1981 in this outfit.


I wore this to go out on a date day with B. We went to the farmer's market down in the nearest city (15 plantains for $2? Yes, please), then off to the mall for a cheap lunch and some bookstore browsing. Then we wandered through the streets of Alajuela where we did a little thrifting (we scored some amazing pieces) and enjoyed ice cream cones. I love our date days.


Oh, and Happy Fourth, to all of you in the States (and my fellow expats). I'll be celebrating on the beach.

Classic

Tee: Ann Taylor
Jeans: LOFT
Scarf: Turkey
Earrings: gift from sister-in-law
Bangles: Banana Republic
Purse: Nine West
Sandals: Target

I'm really sad that I have exactly two good pictures of this outfit, because I'm a big fan of how it turned out. I've long been stumped by these jeans, but I think this look works. I got these jeans from my sister for Christmas and I've been kind of dipping my toes in the boyfriend jean looks, but this outfit felt like I jumped in. I might still be in the shallow end, but I feel that this is progress. I wore this on Saturday for a date day with B. We went to the mall while our coworker picked students up at the airport. We wandered around, looked at stuff we couldn't afford to buy, had lunch and dinner at the food court, and watched the latest Fast and the Furious movie because THAT is how much I love my husband. All in all, it turned out to be a good day.

Wordless on the beach

Dress: J Crew
Sandals: Chinese Laundry
Sunnies: Puerto Rico
Earrings: Turkey
Bag: H&M

Y'all, my words can't compete with that sunset.

Color Rotation - Orange

Dress: H&M
Sandals: Target
Cami: Petite Sophisticate
Sunnies: Puerto Rico
Earrings: Turkey
Ring: swap
Bracelets: gifts
Purse: Nine West

So much color! I find red terrifying, so I skipped it and instead went with orange. Red-orange. For some reason, this color doesn't scare me at all. And yes, I realize that's weird.


Anyway, this was last Saturday, when we left the cold mountains behind and went to the city to get stuff we needed for the house (electric showers!) and to take some time off. B and I watched I am Number Four which we'd heard pretty much nothing about before buying our tickets.


Also, this dress is super old. I found that I brought a lot of really old clothes with me. I guess they're well loved; I also guess that I don't shop nearly as much as I used to think I did.


And on a completely unrelated note, we went to the fancy supermarket to see if I could find contact solution. Contact solution was unavailable, but I did find this product. Can I just say that I hate the first word of that product? It's so icky.


But check out the UPC! Ha!

Double take

Another twofer post!

First up: Friday 28 January.

All remixed except top/dress
Dress (worn as top): Vintage gift from B via Etsy (no idea which vendor)
Skirt: Gap
Belt: Ann Taylor
Cardigan: J Crew
Shoes: Target
Earrings: Kohl's

I've found that when I pretty much live, work, eat, worship, and play in the same place, it's important to dress like you're for real going to work when it's time to work. It makes me at least a million times more productive.


I was way productive in this outfit. Like, so productive that we got stuff worked out for the school, talked housing options for colleagues, worked on scheduling...


...and climbed a fence. Yes, I'm so hard core that I climb fences in pencil skirts.

On Saturday, I opted for something a little more casual.

Shoes and earrings remixed
Sweater: F21 (about five years ago)
Jeans: LOFT - gift from my sister (she got them for $5; bargain shopping runs in our blood)
Shoes: Naturalizer
Earrings: Turkey

This look is about as simple as they come. I mean, it's jeans and a sweater. Y'all have NO IDEA how hard it's been for me to style these jeans, though. I spent waaaaay too long putting this look together, and then I wasn't even sure if I liked it or not.


B liked it, though, so we took some pictures when the sun came out. Y'all: this is the view from our front door. Those are volcanoes and mountains out there, and we just came from Philly - definite culture shock.


Pretty much, I have about three pairs of shoes that are appropriate for country life, and man, do I miss my heels. This is definitely an experience that's helping me to push my stylistic boundaries and find ways to reinterpret my style in a way that works out here in the mountains.