Dress Your Best Week - Day 5: To lean on

Tee: J Crew
Skirt: Target
Belt: Target
Booties: Aldo
Bracelet: gift from A
Earrings: Turkey
Sunnies: Puerto Rico
Hair: courtesy of this tutorial (though I couldn't quite get the video to load, so I improvised.)

I will admit that I had a hard time deciding on the fifth feature to highlight this week. I was torn between my wide hips or my equally wide shoulders, and in the end I decided there's a lot of similarity between hips and thighs, so I decided to go with the shoulders.


I've often said that I have linebacker shoulders. I don't really know what a linebacker does because I prefer my football spelled fútbol, but I've heard they have broad shoulders. I do, too, especially for a woman of my stature. My mother is so tiny up top, with delicate little shoulders. My shoulders, however, come from my dad's side of the family. There is nothing delicate about my shoulders - they're wide and strong.


And while I've often been self-conscious about most of the other features I've talked about this week, I'm strangely proud of these shoulders. So I decided to play them up with a scoop neck top that's just a little ill-fighting in precisely that area - no scarf to draw the eye down, no necklace to serve the same purpose, just me and my shoulders in a simple tee.


Everyone says I look like my dad - la misma cara (the same face) - but I just don't see it. I do see him in these shoulders, my calves, and my bellybutton, though. (Yes, I know the last one is especially weird, but it's totally true.)


And I love that, because I love my daddy. I see him in my penchant for travel, in my work ethic, in my perfectionism (though I've got that coming from both parents), in my love of music, and my need to dream big. I feel like I talk a lot about what I've learned from my mom here on the blog, and she's really taught me a lot - a whole lot - but so has my dad.


My dad taught me to fight for things, that good things are worth making a sacrifice, that sometimes peer pressure works for the best, that I should demand the best treatment in every situation and relationship, and that I should let myself be led while dancing.


So thanks, Daddy, for all those lessons and for these shoulders. Oh, and I didn't drop anything, I just don't like looking at the camera. ;)

Dress Your Best Week - Day 4: Thunder

Jeans: J Crew
Tee: gift from a friend (similar to this one)
Sweater: Banana Republic
Shoes: Sperry
Earrings: Target

First of all, thanks for the support for yesterday's post. I was scared to talk about my chest on the Internet, but apparently I am not alone in that arena, so, again: thanks.
Second, just when you thought I couldn't get any more awkward, let's talk about my thighs, shall we?


I have thick thighs. Even when I was at the lowest weight of my adult life, my thighs were round and heavy. They've been this way for as long as I've had a woman's body, which as we discussed yesterday, came early in my life. And while I haven't always enjoyed it, and while the delightful young men in my 6th and 7th grade PE classes liked to shout "thunder thighs" when I ran past (it wasn't special treatment, they were that nice to all the girls), I've come to appreciate these thighs.


I appreciate them so much that now I wear skinny jeans (drawing attention the the fact that my leg is not a single long line) with a lighter colored top that ends at my widest point (drawing attention to said "flaw"). Because I'm so over rules that don't make me feel more comfortable in my skin.


These thighs, with their round heaviness, connect me to a line of women I love. My mom and my sister have thighs like these. My aunts and cousins do, too. It's in our DNA. There's something that's almost like validation when I see these quirky parts of me and remember that they connect me to the people I love most.


So, I appreciate my thighs today. No, they're not slim, and no, it's not easy to find jeans that fit in the waist and the thigh, but they're a point of connection. They are strong. They are mine.


Are there any parts of your body that make you feel connected to your family? Am I the only weird one?

Dress Your Best Week - Day 3: Ruffles or bust

Top: Ann Taylor (gift from my mom)
Bolero: Ann Taylor
Skirt: Target
Booties: Aldo
Bracelets: gift from my uncle
Earrings: gift from my sister-in-law
Crazy face: not sure...

I feel like I'm pulling out the big guns with Dress Your Best Week this year. It's been harder to make my list, but I feel like it's given me a new and improved appreciation for my body. For today? My chest, and trust me when I say that this post might be the hardest (most awkward?) one for me to write.


I got my first training bra in third grade. Third. Grade. And it was not a "let's make you feel all grown up" kind of training bra experience. It was like a "Hey, mom, people at school are asking if I wear a bra" experience. Next thing I knew, we were at JC Penney's picking out 32AAs. In fifth grade, I was the only girl who had to wear a bra every day (and my mom told me it had to be EVERY DAY) which meant I got "plinkied" every time we had a bathroom break. Plinkies were when the other kids snapped the back strap. It was awesome.


By "awesome", I mean "mortifying", of course. Naturally, I was self-conscious because I was a kid who didn't know what to make of her body. As I got older, there were all kinds of rules about what I could and couldn't wear thanks to all I had going on in the front. No tank tops, definitely no spaghetti straps, cardigans or jackets to cover me up, no scoop necks, few v-necks, nothing with an empire waist, no tops with writing across the front, avoid embellishment across the bust, no woven button-up shirts...


That's a lot of rules, especially for a high school kid, which is what I was at the time. Some of those were my parents' rules and some were my own, but it pretty much guaranteed that I had no idea what to do with my top half. I'll readily admit that these days, I'm much more comfortable covering up, but at the time, I felt awkward and ashamed. I mean, I didn't ask for what I had, right?


But I feel like these days I finally have perspective on my chest. For one, I'm just below the national average, which makes me feel way better about my options. For another, I've stopped fighting it. This is the body I have, the only one I have, and I've got a chest that women will literally pay money for. So I thank the sweet Lord for what I've got and move on.


And I'll just go ahead and put some ruffles on 'em to make up for lost time.

Dress Your Best Week - Day 2: Thick skin

Tee: Target (men's undershirt)
Skirt: J Crew
Belt: Banana Republic
Scarf: gift from my uncles
Booties: Aldo
Bracelet: gift from our intern, A
Earrings: Turkey

Today, I'm celebrating my skin. This is a big step for me because I have not loved my skin for most of my life. This is another one of the things that I have learned to love about myself, mostly because it does its job. Skin is important, y'all.


So, when we moved to the States, Oprah taught my mom English. What I mean by that is that my mom watched Oprah to learn English. I thought Oprah was the most beautiful woman in the world, and I was pretty sure that in order to be beautiful, I had to be a lot darker than I was.


By the time I got to high school, I'd get a lot of "Aren't Puerto Ricans supposed to be darker?" comments. And though I knew - I know - that we come in a variety of shades, I felt like I was lacking. I was jealous of my sister's caramel tone, and I hid my skin, especially my legs, for many years because of their whiteness.


I don't know when things changed, when I got over the hiding and started showing off my skin and really caring for it - because it is seriously dry and flaky no matter how much cocoa butter I rub into it. I've been embracing my skin, though, in all it's (relatively) pale glory. I'm thankful that I can wear colors like green and yellow and orange. I'm thankful that jewel tones pop against my skin. I'm thankful that I rarely burn out in the sun, and that if I do, it turns to a tan the very next day. I'm thankful that white shows off my tan when I've got one and that I look good in black whether I'm tanned or not.


This is my skin. I'm finally okay with it.

Dress Your Best Week - Day 1: Waist not

Skirt: I made it
Tee: Target
Cami: ?
Cardigan: J Crew
Belt: Target
Socks: gift from my sister-in-law
Boots: Nine West
Earrings: Turkey

I'm participating in Dress Your Best week again this year, though I'm not sure how consistently the posts will be going up this week with our spotty internet. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, I'm hoping that most of what I'll be showing off this week will be different from last year's choices. For one, my body has changed in the past year; for two, I've been embracing my body in new ways lately. So for this first installment, let's talk about my waist.


True story: I discovered my waist through blogging and a fitting for my wedding dress. See, my mom and my sister are super curvy. They're pear shaped and I always envied their tiny little upper bodies and wide hips. I was convinced that I was a rectangle. And then the tailor at my fitting gave me three different numbers for my measurements and I was like, "Oh, I've got a waist!"


And then I forgot about that and started thinking I was a rectangle again until my readers and commenters told me I was crazy and I was actually pretty hourglassy. So I started looking at my pictures and looking at my body, and yes. There it was: the waist.


Maybe that's kind of ridiculous, but I know I'm alone in the slightly warped (or a seriously distorted) sense of body. And it's taken a lot for me to start to see myself in a more realistic way, and I wouldn't say I'm totally there yet, but I do feel like I'm making progress. So, yeah, this recently discovered waist is one of the things I'm celebrating this week.


Has anyone else discovered something positive about their body through blogging?

And just to keep this light, a picture of my adorable kittens:

Elefante on the left, Pirata on the right. Aren't they cute?

Dress Your Best Week - Day 5 - The Collarbone

Black dress: Target
Black cami: Target (not seen)
Pearl chandelier earrings: Target
Fuchsia suede flower flats: Target
"Pearl" necklace worn as a bracelet: borrowed from my mom in December - Sorry mom!

It's the final official day of Dress Your Best Week and I'm highlighting my collarbone. This is kind of a funny outfit for highlighting the collar bone, since the neckline is relatively high, but I like the way it really frames my clavicle. I slipped it on this morning and thought, yes.


Also, I want to give a shout out to Target for clothing me today and many other days. Y'all should pay me. (I swear the All Target outfit was unintentional.)


Anyway, one of the things I liked about this look was that it's pretty covered up, but my collarbone peeking out just above the neckline is so subtly sexy.

And the detail on the bodice? It really just draws the eye to the clavicle, doesn't it?


I don't know that I ever had a real revelation about my collarbone, not like my legs or my booty or my hair or even my eyes. This is one area I've always found pretty, and dressing it up has never been a real problem.



But here's the thing, one of the reasons I started this blog was to help me love my body just a bit more. I'm generally secure about my body, but I go through these phases - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - where nothing looks right, I have nothing to wear, and oh. my. gosh. when did I gain this weight?! And then I'm all gloom and doom about my tummy or my upper thighs or my weirdo pinky toe that never touches the ground.
The blog has been helping me to see my beauty every day. I'm going to go ahead and say that without offering a qualifier or apologizing for sounding conceited, because this week I am owning this body and love, love, loving it for all the things it does. I will not lie, finding five body parts to highlight was a bit of a challenge, but as this week has gone on, I've been noticing other things I like.


There're my strong fingernails which grow long even though I rarely do anything to them. My triceps seem to miraculously hold on to a bit of definition, even when I slack on my workouts. I have a pretty nice rack. My cheekbones are enviable. I have lips that some women would pay money to have. My wrists are delicate and slim. I love my ability to tan (yeah, yeah, I know).
This body is beautiful. It's a testament to form and function, to nature and nurture. I'm often amazed thinking about everything - all those processes that allow me to move, to think, to breathe. This body works beautifully. I'm constantly relearning to be grateful for it. This week I have not pinched my midsection in shame. I have not once thought about the parts I often try to camouflage. This week has been about appreciation for the practical things my body does and the ways in which it's just plain pretty. And my gosh, how wonderful is it when those two things combine.


I try not to talk smack about other women. Not that I never do, just that when I catch myself doing it, I stop immediately. I don't want to bring down my sisters - is that weird? Is it weirder to blame it on the fact that I went to a women's college (which is now coed)? The whole idea of sisterhood is one that I take pretty seriously. But I have struggled much more with applying that to myself. It's been okay to bash my own body. And in a way, I think it's one of those things we, as women, are almost trained to do. After all, if we don't talk badly about ourselves, people will think we're conceited; no one likes girls who brag.
So this is my challenge to myself: be a woman no one likes. I'm going to brag a bit about myself. There's more to me that I want to bring out and appreciate. Yes, I love my mind and my wit and my empathy, but those are the parts of me that I am used to celebrating. It's okay to celebrate those things, because they mean I'm a good girl, a smart girl.
I'm gonna go ahead and be a little bit bad; I'm going to celebrate my body. This woman's body that is beautiful and functional - a work of art.

Dress Your Best Week - Day 4 - These Curls

Dress: Liberty of London for Target (also worn by Sal of Already Pretty)
White cami: Target (remixed)
Blue bolero: Ann Taylor (remixed)
Yellow flats: SE Boutique (remixed)
Silver hoops: gift from my mom (remixed)
Silver and turquoise bracelet: Chaps, gift from my mom (remixed)
Gold headband: Forever 21
Big hair: Just that lucky

So for today's episode of Dress Your Best Week, I'd like to celebrate my massive hair.

I feel like I'm a bit of an anomaly among curly-haired girls. I went through this phase where I straightened it every day, just like most of us, but when I was fifteen, I left that behind. I feel like that might be about seven years ahead of schedule, but I might be wrong. Anyway, at fifteen, I came to terms with my curls and decided to rock them, without using much product at all. I pinned it up, tied curling ribbon in it, stuck little butterflies on wires in, tucked silk flowers in, and basically did all I could to draw attention to the mass of curls on top of my head. At fifteen, I decided I really loved the natural texture of my hair, though I was not so enamored of the dark brown hue. So I dyed it. Often.


And I kept that up until I was twenty-one. I left my hair long, cut it crazy short (no, really, really short), cut it to my shoulders, but it was never dark brown. It was auburn, red, light brown, black, that awful eggplant color that all of us Latinas rocked in the 90s, and brown with honey highlights.


But then I got sick of the upkeep, tired of not knowing what my natural hair color was, curious about whether I was going prematurely grey like my mom, so I dyed it some color I think was called "Espresso" and then let it grow out. That was nearly seven years ago and I haven't gone back since. I will not dye my hair until the greys are visible, and since I usually wear it curly, I rarely heat style it and I never brush it.


As a result, my hair is supple and shiny and healthy. Add to this a recent development: I have stopped washing my hair. Alright, that's an exaggeration, I wash my hair every two or three days. Even more recently, I decided to start using natural shampoos, free of all those crazy chemicals in shampoo. This was kind of a natural extension of washing my hair less often, but I will confess that S. of Academic Chic fame, also inspired me to make this switch.

So what does my hair care routine look like? Wash with natural shampoo (whatever brand is on sale) every two or three days, work in a bit of mousse (not a whole lot), fall asleep on wet hair, and wake up to this fabulousness. In the morning, I work a bit of water in to manipulate the curls that are sticking way out of place, and pin things back. Or not.

Dress Your Best Week - Day 3 - The Sexy Gams

Black shirt dress: Banana Republic (remixed)
Brown woven belt: Target (remixed)
Red pumps: Michael Shannon (remixed)
Brown bracelets: gift from my mom
Elephant earrings: Kohl's (remixed)

This outfit almost didn't happen. I mean, I was seriously in danger of showing up at work in my red flannel pants and Obama tee, and that would've been tragic. Or something like that. The main reason is that I cut my toe and every pair of shoes I put on rubbed against the cut and made me limp around, and that's just not cute. But then I slipped on these trusty red pumps, which are apparently cut low enough to avoid the cut. Of course, by then, it was about 7:15, and I have to be at work at 7:30, so I threw the dress on.


I do love this dress, and it does show off my legs, so it works, but I'll be the first to admit that there's not a whole lot of creativity going on here. Except, of course, for my penchant for combining black and brown. Take that, establishment.


So here they are: the gams, which I'm showing off for Dress Your Best Week. I love the strength of my legs, particularly when I wear heels - heels really do show off the definition in my calves.

For many years in middle and high school, I hated showing my legs. They were too white, too fat, too short. My gosh, I was a moron. All those years wasted as far as my lovely legs go.... My legs are still pretty pale, and they've never been super thin, but they're strong and curvy. A dress just above the knee and a pair of heels and they suddenly look crazy long.
These legs get me through my days. They take me around my classroom, let me teach all day long, walking among the rows; carry me up and down the treacherous potholed hill to and from my car, get me through salsa classes every week.... What don't my legs do?
Like most of the other parts of my body that I'm flaunting this week, it's been a long road towards acceptance and appreciation, but the way I feel about my fabulous legs now? Love.